In Kyle Smith's article in the New York Post, he argues that women are incapable of understanding the classic mafia film Goodfellas. We are here to let Mr. Smith know he is wrong. But it's this self-proclaimed jerk's limited experience with women that has warped his small mind, unfortunately.
More: Adrian Grenier on Entourage and "the fame, the money, the glitz, the glam, the girls"
Smith recounts watching the film with an ex-girlfriend who called it a "boy movie." Was she wrong? No. We agree it is a boy movie. The fact that this ex-girlfriend wasn't inspired by the immature boy-men characters in the film — who need a gun to hide behind because their penises are too small or ineffective, and need to steal for a living because they don't have a brain that can lead them to a more noble profession — makes perfect sense to us.
More: Woman in Gold: 9 Facts about Maria Altmann's story not in the film
Psst, Kyle: That's the real reason why she broke up with you. Though you may in fact be a jerk, she dumped your sorry ass because of your intense desire to masturbate to this kind of "lazy, powerful, deadly" male archetype, the type of caricature of a man who's devoted more to other men than any woman — and that scared the shit out of her.
More: Kendra Wilkinson dishes on sex with Hugh Hefner: "It was like a job"
Goodfellas, based on the book Wiseguy by Nicholas Pileggi, is like a love letter from Martin Scorsese to the American subculture of the Italian mafia as it intersects with the "American Dream." Watching the film, we get the sense that Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) just about acquired the same slice of apple pie we're all reaching for — if it weren't for the drugs, specifically cocaine. But the sex appeal of an easy-money, drug-fueled life was a mistress too hard to turn away and it all fell apart. We understand that, too — the theme of loving something that will ultimately destroy you is very American and we get it. But...
As women, we don't mind watching the story of man willing to lie, cheat and steal to get ahead. What we do mind is that nearly every film we've ever seen is like that. As women, we crave bigger stories, stories that involve a woman's point of view. Does that mean Goodfellas isn't enjoyable to our XX chromosomes? No, it is enjoyable. We also loved The Wolf of Wall Street, The Godfather and The Sopranos. But we only ask that you understand our taste in film may include a wider range than yours.
Images: Warner Bros.